The Fellowship of Fleas
by Kawaii Elf Girl
Summary: Something goes horribly wrong with one of Gandalf’s spells and all of the members of the fellowship are turned into DOGS! (Ok, maybe not original, but a classic all the same!) PG-13 just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1: A Skewed Spell!

The Fellowship of Fleas!  
  
Summary: Something goes horribly wrong with one of Gandalf's spells and all of the members of the fellowship are turned into DOGS!!! (Ok, maybe not original, but a classic all the same!)  
  
Kogura: (half elf, half wolf demon) Ok, usually my thing would be romances but there doesn't seem to be a want or need for those right now. At least I don't think so. I dunno, but I got this idea and just *had* to write it! I hope you like it. If you have seen this pen name before (Kawaii Elf Girl) then you know of my other personalities, Gloriollass the obnoxious angst lover and Elf-Girl the idiot! They have stories on here but this is my first one. First one published anyway.  
  
Elf-Girl: (half elf, half cat demon) -_-* You could have made a better introduction for Gloriollass and I.  
  
Gloriollass: I *am* the Merciful Goddess after all. Do not anger me wolf.  
  
Kogura: *blows raspberry* ONTO MY FIC!!! ^^  
  
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Disclaimer: Alright, I already knew that humans were inferior to wolf demons, but at what point did they begin to believe that a half elf, half wolf demon owned the Lord of the Rings? Fine, I don't own it. But I do own this awesome bone!!! ^^  
  
Chapter 1: A Skewed Spell!  
  
The Fellowship decided to try to get to know each other a little bit better about two days before they were going to leave Rivendell on their quest to Mt. Doom. Gandalf thought that it would be spiritually fulfilling for them to know each other. Meaning, he wanted to do *something* to get Gimli and Legolas to stop fighting.  
  
They all headed out to the woods surrounding Rivendell (not too far though) to a small clearing with a circle of tree stumps and rocks with a small area for a fire in the middle.  
  
Gandalf clasped his hands together, "Alrighty then! Let's get the fire going!"  
  
The hobbits smiled gleefully at the thought of s'mores.  
  
Unfortunately, there had been rain and the wood was too wet to burn. Even the pyromaniac, Gimli was unable to do much more than a spark. Legolas *had* gotten a fire going... Unfortunately. it was Boromir's clothes that burned.  
  
Finally, while Boromir was running around, screaming "AHHHHH!!! PUT ME OUT!!! PUT ME OUT!!!", Aragorn trying to calm him down so that Boromir could "STOP, DROP AND ROLL!!!" and Legolas repeating, "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!!", Gandalf sighed and tried to light a fire using his staff. What he didn't count on, was the fact that Elladan and Elohir had tampered with it.  
  
There was a loud BOOM!!! And all the fellowship fell unconscious (thankfully, Boromir had finally stopped burning by throwing himself into a shallow pond)  
  
Legolas could not remember what made him fall. As he began to get his bearings again, he realized that he was much warmer than before. 'Gandalf must have gotten that fire going after all.' he thought until he become conscious of the fact that he could not hear the crackling of a fire. While thinking (eyes still closed) he tried to scratch his nose. Only to find it wet and cold and that he didn't have a hand to scratch his nose with. He had a paw.  
  
Legolas' scream resounded in the entire valley and woke the others. Legolas looked around and could not find his companions; instead, he saw a bunch of dogs waking up.  
  
Aragorn heard Legolas scream and awoke only to set a large, blonde, shorthaired, curly dog that seemed frightened. He tried to stand only to find that he could go no further than on all fours. He looked down to see what was wrong. Sure enough, he too now had undergone a change.  
  
"What the devil!?!?!" He shouted, or rather, barked. He gasped when he heard his voice. The others were now fully awake, looking around in confusion.  
  
"Mr. Frodo? Frodo? Frodo!" Sam bellowed. No small dog was he.  
  
"I'm right here Sam." Groaned Frodo. He looked around, bewildered, "What happened?"  
  
"It would appear that something has happened to my staff. Probably one of Elladan' and Elohir's little pranks." An old wizened Mioritic Sheepdog answered.  
  
They all looked around at each other. Legolas had been turned into a Chesapeake Bay Retriever (although he looked like he might have had some Dingo in him), Aragorn was a German Shepard, Frodo was a Chocolate Lab (AN: Mmm. Chocolate. Wait, WRONG CHOCOLATE!!!! EWWW!!! BAD IMAGES!!! I DON'T EAT DOGS!!! GOT IT!?!?!? I'M A WOLF DEMON/HALF ELF!!! NOT A DOG EATER!!!), Sam was a Great Dane (and was quite unused to being so much taller than everyone else), Gimli was a Siberian Husky, Pippin was an Irish Setter, Merry was an American Foxhound, and Boromir was no where to be seen.  
  
Aragorn looked around, "Boromir?"  
  
"I'm not coming out. Not until Gandalf fixes this!" Boromir's voice whined.  
  
Of course, with all of their improved noses, it did not take long before Legolas and Aragorn sniffed him out and found him in a bush. Legolas stifled a laugh but Aragorn (also trying not to laugh) cuffed Legolas on the head. Having no other way to carry him, Aragorn picked Boromir up by the back of his neck using his teeth and carried the small, white poodle into the open.  
  
Gandalf, Frodo and Sam managed to keep their bliss down to a smile but Gimli, Pippin and Merry were rolling on the ground with laughter.  
  
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!" Boromir barked but, finally, the entire fellowship was laughing at him.  
  
"What was that?" came a familiar voice. Legolas, Aragorn and Gandalf recognized it as Elladan.  
  
"I don't know, let's check it out." replied Elohir. The two elves came upon the clearing and found them. "Hmm, we come out here looking to see what tampering with Gandalf's staff does but instead, we find a bunch of mutts!" All the fellowship growled at him.  
  
"Well, even if they are mutts, they're smart!" laughed Elladan. "Come, I guess we won't find out what our trick did until tomorrow. Let's bring these guys home. We can't leave them out here." He said as he attempted to put a rope on Gimli who was not cooperating.  
  
Elohir laughed, "This is how you do it." He tackled Legolas and got a rope on him, only to be dragged off by the massive dog. "HELP!!!!" Elohir screeched until a loud crashing sound was heard, followed by a splash and Legolas strutted back into the clearing, collar free but wet (Chesapeake Bay Retrievers love water). Elohir dragged himself back into camp, soaking wet and with algae all over him, holding the rope. "The stupid dog went into the lake and pulled me under until I took the rope off."  
  
Elladan was doubled over laughing, "Why don't you handle the poodle, I'll get the rest!" Boromir growled.  
  
Elohir looked as though he had decided he did not care about whether or not there were dogs running loose. "Let's go home." he growled as he began to stomp off.  
  
Elladan smiled, "Hoping they'll just follow you?" He then put on a fake child voice "Daddy! They followed me home. Can I keep them!?!?"  
  
"Shut up." growled Elohir.  
  
Elladan turned around and his jaw dropped. "They *are* following."  
  
Elohir looked, "Great. All that for nothing."  
  
Elladan laughed again, "At least you smell better!"  
  
Elohir frowned, "Hey! At least I take more baths than Estel! He really stinks most of the time. It's a wonder Arwen can stand his smell, let alone love him! HEY!! STUPID DOG!! LET GO!!!" he shouted. Aragorn was busy trying to tear his pants off (stop thinking those dirty thoughts you pervs!!!)  
  
Finally, Elladan pried Aragorn off of Elohir's leg (please keep your mind clean. for now.) and they arrived at Rivendell.  
  
Elrond gave his son's 'The Evil Elrond Eyebrow Glare of DOOM!!!' "What are those doing here?"  
  
"Believe it or not father, they actually *did* follow us home! They were in the Middle of the forest." Elladan replied.  
  
Elrond sighed, "Very well, we can keep them. For now."  
  
Arwen came out, "What's going on here? Are they back yet?" She saw the Fellowship and ran down to see them (Elrond helped his sons get collars and leashes on all of them), "Awwww. They're all sooooo cute! Where did you find them?" she asked while scratching Legolas under the chin (Aragorn growled from jealousy).  
  
"Elladan and Elohir found them in the woods. Be careful Arwen." Elrond warned.  
  
Arwen patted Legolas some more, "This one seems friendly enough. I bet Aragorn would like him. Can I keep him? PLEASE?!?!?" she pouted.  
  
Elrond sighed, "Fine, if they don't already have owners. You can keep him. it *is* a 'him'... right?"  
  
Legolas's eyes almost popped out of his skull when he heard that. The first thing that came to mind was the word, 'fixed.'  
  
Elladan nodded, "They're all males. It's a wonder they haven't tried to kill each other yet."  
  
Arwen pulled on Legolas' leash, "Come on, I'll think of a good name for you. How about 'Fluffy'? Oh come on, I was only kidding. I'll think of one while I take a bath."  
  
Aragorn paled although it could not be seen under his fur. Elrond lifted an eyebrow, "Are you sure you want him in there while you get undressed?"  
  
Arwen smiled, "Oh come on father, he's only a dog." As she went in, Legolas looked back at Aragorn with a mischievous smile that had Aragorn tugging against his leash (in vain for he was tied to a tree) with all of his power.  
  
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Alright! I know, not that good so far. I'll try to do better, I promise. Oh, and another thing, if you want to see any pictures of the dogs they all were turned into, go to . It has a huge list of dogs and they have the ones I mentioned. This list is in alphabetical order and it's easy. If you have a dog you'd like to see, tell me, maybe I can squeeze it in or, if you have a better idea of what kind of dog each person should be, maybe I can make a switch-o-roo! Hmmm, maybe I should turn some of the Rivendell elves into dog... *cough-Elrond-cough*  
  
Please review! That's the main reason I write. Write because, (1) I LOVE getting such wonderful reviews from you people! (2) I love writing, and having ADHD, you end up getting a lot of ideas. And (3) it's something to do. Alright, I've written this, now. follow the watch. you are getting sleepy... Verrry sleepy. You are now under my power. You will click the button on the left hand corner. the one that says review. Click it. Click it. What, are you deaf? Why are you still reading this? CLICK IT!!! ^^ 


	2. Chapter 2: Accommodations

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. Sorry for any of you who planned on suing me. And don't you dare, I plan on going to Australia as a student ambassador next summer, I need the money I have!!!  
  
Steff7: HEREHEREHERE!!! I'm glad you love it!!! Here's the newest chapter!!!  
  
Tourignyne: Really? I'm sure I put it in... I guess FF.net doesn't like URLs in stories. It was called w w w . d o g b r e e d i n f o . c o m / a b c . h t m # C. I hope that works, just get rid of all the spaces I put in- between each letter. Sorry for the inconvenience but I couldn't post it any other way. O_O;; Update or die? I'll let you know I have an entire pack of man eating wolf demons at my beck and call! Not to mention my nice widdle sword! *pulls out 49.5 lb sword* ^-^ Hehehe. I loved turning Boromir into a poodle. Trust me, that is not the end of his humiliation. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Laswen: Hehehe... Trust me; Aragorn is a lot more than just jealous. ^_~  
  
MaxMyu: Howdy! I'm glad you liked it so far. Here's more!!!  
  
Legolas's fanatical fan girl: Mae govannen mellonin! I'm glad you reviewed! Good luck with your site!  
  
Bill the Pony2: Yay!! I'm glad to hear you liked my newest story! Hope you like the rest too!!! ^^  
  
Wolf Arrows: Again, overjoyed to hear you liked it. And here's more according to your wishes!!!  
  
Star-Stallion: Hehehe, yeop, Legolas lucked out. He's got the Arwen's room while the others were tied up outside. Aragorn ain't happy I'll tell you, or rather, I'll show you in this new chapter!  
  
Mistress of Balmoral: Instant classic you say? I'm glad to hear it! I also deeply enjoyed the part where I set fire to Boromir. I think he hates me now though. For good reason too though.  
  
Chapter 2: Accommodations  
  
Legolas followed Arwen into her room. "Alright, here we go. Now... what to name you." she said as she began to get undressed (much to Legolas' perverted delight). "How about. Spike? Nah. that's been used a million times. How about something in elven? Hmmm. What do you think boy?" she smiled at Legolas with naught but a towel wrapped around her. Legolas just stared at her (or rather, her breasts) panting. Arwen laughed, "You look just like Aragorn. That's it; I'll give you his old name. Estel! How's that? An improvement over 'Fluffy' I'm sure." Legolas ('Estel') barked his approval (not wanting to end up with something just as bad as 'Fluffy').  
  
Before she went into her bathroom she said, "Alright Estel, why don't you go with your friends? I'm sure they miss you." Legolas gasped when he remembered that Aragorn was very likely going to kill him now. He instead, jumped up onto her bed and fell asleep.  
  
Back with the others.  
  
"COME ON!!! STOP PULLING SO HARD!!!" Elladan shouted at Aragorn, or rather, the German Shepard that Aragorn had turned into. Aragorn had not stopped pulling on his leash or barking since Arwen left with Legolas. All the others had been tied up to a tree by Elohir, Elrond and Glorfindel.  
  
Elohir walked over to his twin, "Need some help?" Elladan just glared at him. Elohir smiled, "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Alright then... Come on you stubborn little- WHOA!!!!!!" they both screamed as Aragorn managed to finally pull them off their feet and was now dragging them towards the building Arwen and Legolas entered. The twins let go and let Aragorn dash in the open door.  
  
Gandalf sighed, "Ah. three. two. one." And sure enough, a second after one, a loud yelp was heard from Arwen's room and about another 30 seconds later (after hearing much crashing coming form the interior, Legolas bolted out of the door (laughing all the way) with Aragorn hot on his heels (yelling curses at his friend). Suddenly, Legolas turned and used his head (literally) by allowing Aragorn to run into the elf's now immense body.  
  
"Grrrrrrrrrrr.. DAMMIT LEGOLAS!!! SHE'S MY FIANCÉ!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!?!" Aragorn growled. Legolas was too busy laughing to respond.  
  
When Elrond came up though, Legolas stopped laughing and Aragorn stopped growling and stared in horror as they waited for some retribution for disturbing the peace. Elrond couldn't help but laugh, "These two look just like Legolas and Aragorn whenever I catch them doing something they shouldn't!" Legolas and Aragorn relaxed and Aragorn continued his chase until Elrond grab he rope that was still tied around his neck. "Alright big guy, come on, leave Fluffy, or whatever Valar forsaken name Arwen gave that poor creature, alone."  
  
It was Legolas' turn to growl as Aragorn and the others began laughing at the prospect of him being called, 'Fluffy'. Unfortunately, Gimli went too far.  
  
"HA! Fluffy would be the perfect name for any elf! Especially one that looks has feminine as him!!" Gimli chortled. Legolas leaped forward and knocked Gimli over and the two started a tussle.  
  
It might have gone too far had Gandalf not spoken up. "LEGOLAS GREENLEAF AND GIMLI SON OF GLION!!!" he roared. Legolas and Gimli froze and stared at Gandalf. "That's better, now, Legolas, you go back to Arwen's room before she comes out here looking for you with her towel on, Aragorn, leave Legolas alone, Gimli, no more comments, and Legolas. Touch Arwen anywhere and I will see to it that you *are* fixed!"  
  
Legolas paled (although it could not be seen under his fur) and went back into the house with his tale between his legs (literally). Aragorn still was displeased about having his best friend in a room with *his* fiancé while she had nothing on but decided that Gandalf's threat would be more than enough to keep Legolas in check. He turned around to face the others only to find Boromir was missing.  
  
"Where's Boromir?" Aragorn asked.  
  
As if on cue, another but higher yelp was heard.  
  
Elladan looked at the dogs and then his father. "Where's the poodle?"  
  
Elrond smile grimly, "One of the cooks, Elsawyn, wanted him."  
  
Aragorn blanched, "Oh boy."  
  
Boromir darted back to his friends with a ridiculous hair cut (yeop, that famous poodle style that looks weird. in my book anyway) and a bunch of pink bows and ribbons and hid under Gimli. "You guys have to keep that crazy elf away from me!!!" he panted while ripping off the ribbons and bows."  
  
"Snuffles!!!" came a sweet elven voice.  
  
Boromir gasped.  
  
"SNUFFLES!!!" called the voice again, although not so sweet this time. "Snuffles you had better get right back here this instant!" The stout elf entered the clearing. "There you are! I was worried sick!" she shouted has she scooped the once proud Gondorian and smothered him against her chest before she returned to her house, Boromir cursing all the way.  
  
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Hello! Sorry I didn't have the time to really check this over as well as I wanted to. I hope it's good all the same! Well, that's all for now. Cya AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3: Fetch and Thranduil

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. I own a dog, a few books, a few small possessions, my school ID card and myself. Oh yeah, my 49.5 lb sword too!! ^-^  
  
Star-Stallion: Yeop, I don't know why but I love making Legolas a bit of a perv in my stories... I wonder why that is. *thinks* I actually don't know. ??? Pinky and Butch? What the-? I'm confuzzled. O_o Ugh.. Yorkshire terriers. Evil vile dogs. They're all over my neighborhood. All night long, it's "YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP, YIP!!!" OH well, I hope you like this new chapter!!!  
  
Laswen: Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I am actually very glad you asked about the ring. It plays a very important role later. For what, I'll tell you soon enough. Maybe not this chapter, maybe not the next one, but soon enough.  
  
Lady Laswen: YAY!! THANK YOU!! And I'm going to guess you probably got the ROTFL thing from Cassia because that's where I first learned what it meant. Well, I hope you haven't gone mad waiting for me to update but if you did, well, I think it's safe to say that you're in good company! ^-^  
  
Doggie fan: YAY!! I'm glad you like the idea!!! Awwww... Cocker Spaniels are sooooo cute!!!! ^^ I hope you like this next chapter!!!  
  
Bulma Greenleaf: Thanks!!! I'm glad you like!!! I like writing original stories; it's no fun if it's been done before. And thank you for putting this on your favorite stories list!!! ^-^  
  
Nightbird*Songbird: Kogura: Don't worry Nightbird, you're not alone, watch this. *sneaks up on Elf-Girl) *starts barking*  
  
Elf-Girl: YIPE!!!! *runs up tree*  
  
Kogura: ^-^ Please review again!!! And now, without further to do, ON WITH THE FIC!  
  
Chapter 3: Fetch and Thranduil  
  
All the valley of Rivendell was filled with barking. And all the residents were thinking along the same lines.  
  
"PIPPIN!!!! SHUT UP!!!!" Aragorn barked (literally)  
  
"Really Pip. Calm Down!" Merry groaned.  
  
Pippin was busy running in circles around Elladan and Elohir who were holding a few balls for the 'dogs' repeating, "BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL!!!!!! THROW THE BALL THROW THE BALL!!!! COME ON THROW IT!!!! THROW IT!!! THROW IT!!!!"  
  
"For Valar's sake, throw one of those stupid balls Elohir!!" Elladan moaned while trying to block out the sound of Pippin's barking (not knowing it was Pippin of course). Elohir threw ball as far as he could and Pippin took off after it like a bat out of hell.  
  
"Whoa. Look at him go." Elohir said in a daze while his brother got out some table scraps. Pippin soon came back with the ball, jumped on Elohir and dropped the slobber covered ball on the elf's face. "EWWWWW!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!!!" Elohir shouted.  
  
"HA! You sounded like a girl!!!" Elladan laughed, until Sam jumped on top pf him trying to get at the food. He was soon followed by Merry, Pippin and Frodo, all intent on the leftovers that they had scrapped together.  
  
Legolas, Boromir, Gimli and Aragorn looked on in disgust as the hobbits devoured the food. Legolas shook his head. Aragorn looked at his friend, "What, it's not like we're going to get any better."  
  
Legolas smiled, "I beg to differ. Watch this." Legolas got up and trotted over to the table and next to Arwen and then proceeded to give her the most pathetic look that one could ever see. Of course Arwen bought it.  
  
"Oh, my poor baby. Here ya go!" Arwen stated happily as she gave him a large piece of meat form the table. Legolas went back over to his friends and began to eat.  
  
"A prince, reduced to begging?" Boromir scoffed.  
  
Legolas smirked, "Who's the one eating table scraps that have already been in their mouths? Besides, I use that all the time. And no offence Aragorn, but you're fiancé is very gullible.. Typical of a Noldor elf.." He continued eating but paused to growl at Pippin who was eyeing his food hungrily.  
  
Aragorn frowned and went over to his beloved and tried the same look, unfortunately, he failed miserably and looked more like he had to go out for a walk. But, like Legolas had said, she was gullible.  
  
Arwen looked at him, "What's the matter boy? You want something like you're friend got? Well. Ok, but don't tell my father!' she smiled as she handed him a leg of something.  
  
Aragorn soon joined Legolas in their own little feast while Gimli tried the same look on another elf but only got a kick in the arse.  
  
After lunch, they fellowship was lazing in the sun when Legolas' ears perked up. "Someone's coming on horseback. And very quickly." He took a few sniffs, smile and wagged his tail.  
  
Elladan heard the horse too, "Ada! Someone is coming!"  
  
Elrond went outside to see who it was only to see Thranduil ride up. "Mae govannen mellonin! (Well met my friend!) What brings you here to Rivendell?"  
  
Unfortunately, Elrond realized Thranduil was not very happy a second too late, meaning when Thranduil let out a battle cry and tackled Elrond to the ground, pinning Elrond's arm to his back.  
  
"THRANDUIL!!! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY ARM!?!?" Elrond shouted.  
  
"ONLY BECAUSE I CANOT REACH YOUR NECK!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING SENDING MY ONLY SON OFF TO MORDOR!?!?!?!?!" Thranduil yelled.  
  
"HE VOLUNTEERED!!!" Elrond protested.  
  
"HE'S STILL A BLOODY MINOR YOU IDIOT!!!" Thranduil shouted.  
  
Elrond gasped, "What? I thought he was older than 3,000?"  
  
Thranduil sneered, "No, he's only 2,791. BUT EVEN IF HE WAS AN ADULT, YOU SENT MY ONLY SON TO HIS DEATH YOU MORON!!!! IT'S ONLY EVEN WORSE CONSIDERING THAT HE'S STILL A CHILD!!!"  
  
Legolas barked and ran over to his father, knocking him off of Elrond and licked him on the face. Thranduil looked at the dog (not knowing he was looking at his son) and then saw the others. "Since when has Lord Elrond given refuge even to dogs?" Thranduil asked with and eyebrow raised. Legolas whimpered.  
  
Thranduil looked at Legolas and smiled, "Alright, nice to meet you too, now let me up." Thranduil stood up and glared at Elrond, "My boy had better come back alive."  
  
Elrond frowned, "Are you threatening me?"  
  
Thranduil smirked, "So, you're not as dumb as you look."  
  
Elrond sneered, "I wouldn't talk if I were you, Blondie!!!"  
  
"Prissy Noldor!!!"  
  
"Barbaric Sylvan!!!"  
  
"Spoiled Gazebo Inhabitant!!!"  
  
"Ignorant Cave Dwelling Idiot!!!  
  
"Moronic Dress Wearing Sissy!!!"  
  
"Inbred Ingrate!!!"  
  
"Homosexual Ring Wearing Whore!!!"  
  
Elrond gasped at this, "Why I." Elladan and Elohir stepped in.  
  
"Come on father, break it up. And you Thranduil, calm down, We're sure Legolas will be fine."  
  
Thranduil sighed, "Fine, but I swear, if Legolas dies, you, Elrond, shall suffer a fate worse than death." Before Elrond could ask what that was, Thranduil answered by throwing a knife at a wooden statue. The knife hit the statue's "manhood"  
  
Elrond visibly gulped.  
  
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OK!!! How was that one? I just *had* to get Thranduil into the picture. I hope you like!!! Ok I luv ya'll buh byeeee!!! 


	4. Chapter 4: Bad Dogs!

Disclaimer: Ok, we've been through this before, si? Let's say it in Spanish now!!! No poseo El Señor de los Anillos! (Translation: I don't own the Lord of the Rings) Ok, so I suck in Spanish. All that matters is whether I can write fan fiction or not, right? ^_^;; Anyway, onto the review replies!  
  
Gilraen Ar-Feiniel1: Don't worry, I know a lot about memory loss, believe- ... Ummmmm, what was I talking about again? ^_^;; Anyway, don't worry, all o their breeds are listed in chapter 1. By the way, don't feel bad for Aragorn... Not *yet* anyway... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Lainfaer: Oh, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, too much work... @_@ Ah well. I'm glad you like how I portrayed Elrond and Thranduil. Thranduil is pretty hard considering I don't have much to work with. Hehehe, I don't think Boromir would think that "interesting" is the corrected way to refer to his 'condition'.  
  
Lothiana: Excellent? Thanks, that's ... excellent!!! ^_^;; Hehehe, bad pun... Anyway, giggling is good! Review again!  
  
Daemon Empress: Brilliant? Thanks! Get Elrond off of Thranduil's back? Elrond is the one who is going to need a way to get Thranduil outta Rivendell. You liked that line? That seems to be a favorite among reviewers. Review again!  
  
Nirobie: I'm glad you like this story, thank you for all of you wonderful reviews for all of my stories. I'm trying to get an update in for everything now that the first quarter is over. Buh bye!!  
  
MidnightPrincess: Thranduil seems to be rather popular among reviewers. Write more? Your wish is my command!  
  
Legolas's fanatical fan girl;: Thanks Turtle! Really? I always thought that it was spelled 'Elohir'. Must check book. *looks at it* Gosh, you're right. It is 'Elrohir'... I wish someone had told me sooner... Now I have to replace all of my posted chapters that involve him... T_T Oh well, cya!!  
  
Star-Stallion: Yeah, Pippin is a cutie, no doubt about it! Thranduil stole the show you think? Well, we certainly can't let him get away with *that* now, can we? Lol, a lot of people liked that line. Review again (and also update all you stories NOW!) ^^  
  
Tourignyne: You like? That's good! Now, now, I don't think they want to scare everyone... yet... Besides, what would *you* rather do? Risk life, limb and sanity over a stupid ring, or get waited on, be allowed to sleep, eat, drink, and pee wherever and whenever you want? O_o rodents? Be nice or I'll have my friend, Gin sic his army of penguins on you! ^^  
  
Bulma Greenleaf: Thanks a bunch. I think I have reviewed some of your stories but I can't be sure, if I haven't, I will. Cya!  
  
Lady Laswen: You liked the gazebo thing? A lot of people liked the "ring wearing whore" one. Ah, 'tis good to be different. And I suspected that they were the same but I wasn't positive and I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. See ya around! ^^  
  
Mascara freak: O_O Geez, don't choke. I don't need being sued for your death. And are you a mind reader? That's about to come up now! But I didn't think of it because of your review. My puppy is getting fixed today (poor dear). Cya!  
  
Chapter 4: Bad Boy!  
  
Thranduil was still rather pissy at the dinner table over the whole affair. Elrond gulped nervously when Thranduil shot him another dirty look. Breaking the silence, Elrond asked, "So... When are you going to return to Mirkwood?"  
  
Thranduil blanched and suddenly became very interested in the food on his plate. "As soon as I get word that Legolas is safe..."  
  
Legolas shook his head solemnly, "That means mother kicked him out and told him not to come back without me..."  
  
Gimli scoffed, "So, I suppose we now know who wears the pants in *your* family, Elf!" Legolas glared at him but said nothing and instead, watched Pippin who was having a tailing chasing contest with Merry, Sam, and Frodo.  
  
Unfortunately, the game came to a crashing end when Sam twirled right into one of the kitchen servants, sending the food flying. Thranduil and Elrond (who had years of battle experience on them) used their plates as shields but everyone else suffered the rain of food, plates and, silverware. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Arwen got the worst f the hot soup. She ran out of the room, screaming, to go and wash off the blistering broth.  
  
Elrond glared down at all nine of the cowering dogs while Thranduil retrained himself from laughing in the background.  
  
Elrond glowered at each and everyone of them before pronouncing their doom.  
  
"I think they need to be fixed..."  
  
A loud, collective yelp was heard from inside the building and was soon followed by nine dogs darting out of the dining hall and as far away as they could get.  
  
Elrond looked at his two sons, "Elladan, Elrohir, go get them!" Elrohir and Elladan nodded and started off after them.  
  
Legolas kept panting while he ran through the corridors of the Last Homely House. "THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! I WONT LET THEM!!! ANYTHING BUT *THAT*!!! DAMN THOSE HOBBITS!!! THIS IS THEIR FAULT!!!" He hid in the basement, next to a large wine barrel. When he smelt the wine, he began cursing the fact he no longer had pose able thumbs.  
  
Aragorn whimpered as he began searching for a hiding place, ultimately choosing what had once been his room when he lived in Rivendell. "Ada wouldn't! I'm the heir of Isildur! I need to be able to produce children or men will be doomed. Ok, so I just don't want to loose my man- hood. That's still a big deal!!! What would I tell Arwen?" He made himself very comfortable under the bed.  
  
Gimli fought the urge to cry when he thought about what they planned to do to his man-hood. "Orcs, I will fight, clad in a smile. I scoff at dragons and I pity wargs for their stupidity at challenging me! But *that*!!! *That* I deem more terrifying then anything on this planet!" He then made refuge under a pile of clothes in the laundry room.  
  
Gandalf growled to himself, "I cannot believe I am running from those half-wit elves! How dare Elrond even *suggest* something like that! When I get back to normal, I'll see how much *he* likes the idea when it happens to *him*!!!" The wizard curled up in a hidden passageway behind a bookcase in the library.  
  
Boromir was bawling as he ran down the hallway, "THIS ISN'T FAIR!!! FIRST I AM MADE A FOOL OUT OF IN FRONT OF THE COUNSEL!!! THEN I WAS TURNED INTO A POODLE!!! NOW I'M GOING TO BE MADE INTO A EUNICH!!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!! WHY DOES ERU HATE ME!?!?!?!" Boromir scrambled under some hay in the barn.  
  
The hobbits stayed together, which probably wasn't such a good idea as Pippin and Sam were knocking over everything in their path. "GREAT GOING PIPPIN!!! THAT WAS A BRILLIANT IDEA WITH THE TAIL CHASING CONTEST!!!" Merry barked.  
  
"WELL SAM IS THE ONE WHO KNOCKED THE SERVER OVER!!!" Pippin yelped.  
  
Sam sobbed, "Mr. Frodo! They wont really do that to us, will they?"  
  
Frodo replied, "I don't know, but keep running!!!"  
  
The hobbits finally found a hiding spot that would hide all four of them in the garden, under a very large bush.  
  
Elladan sighed as he saw the tracks split up into six routs. "This is odd. It's almost like those dogs *knew* what father meant..."  
  
Elrohir shook his head, "But that's not possible. They probably didn't like his tone. Or maybe they just recognize that one word. You know, when they can tell their names are being called? Maybe they know that word refers to pain."  
  
Elladan shuddered, "I feel bad for them... Could you imagine someone ordering that to happen to us?"  
  
Elrohir trembled with the though of that torture, "Let's go find them..." He started down the path that the hobbits took, "Looks like a lot of them went this way."  
  
The two brothers came upon the bush. Elladan frowned slightly, "The tracks end here... They must be close..."  
  
Pippin gulped and Frodo tried to find the Ring.  
  
Elrohir, "I bet they're in that bush..."  
  
Sam began praying and Frodo found the Ring, but it was the clasp on his collar. He began trying to force a toe from his paw in it.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir dived into the bush and grabbed the nearest dog they could. Frodo was caught before he could get the Ring on. Elladan and Elrohir finally tied up the four (hobbit) dogs and began to walk to their father's working room.  
  
"Don't worry, you'll be knocked out the whole time so you won't feel a thing." Elladan said in what was meant to be a comforting tone. But a reminder of their fate only served to bring panic to the hobbits (dogs). They walked through the door where Elrond was getting ready to perform the dastardly deed.  
  
"Ah, good, just tied them up there..." Elrond said while he got some anesthetic ready.  
  
Thranduil frowned at the sharp and obviously painful tools Elrond had set out. He wondered how Elrond ever passed medicine school. "Don't you think this is a bit harsh? Dogs knock over things, you don't have to fix them for it..."  
  
"Didn't you see Arwen when she left? Those dogs have too much energy, this will calm them down, indefinitely!" The hobbits cowered as the elf lord shot a bit of the anesthetic out of the needle. "Now go find the others!" Elladan ad Elrohir nodded and split up to fin the other five.  
  
Elladan followed a set of tracks to a pile of dirty clothes in the laundry room with a tail sticking out of it. "I wonder if the little doggie could be... HERE!!!" he shouted while pulling on the tail and then, putting a rope around Gimli's neck. "Don't worry boy, I wont hurt you... It's Ada you have to worry about..." Gimli whimpered as he was dragged off.  
  
At the same time, Elrohir was battling to get the rope around Gandalf's neck. After he finally achieved the task, he added a disgruntled Boromir to his posse of captured canines.  
  
After dropping off those three, Elladan clapped his hands together, "Great, now all we need are those last two!" So the twins went off in search for Aragorn and Legolas, not knowing what hell they were walking to...  
  
************************************************************************ BUMP, BUMP BUMMMM!!! A CLIFFIE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Will the Fellowship escape their dreadful fate? And how far will Legolas and Aragorn go to protect their man-hoods? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE FELLOWSHIP OF FLEAS!!! Please leave a review! 


	5. Chapter 5: Torture

Disclaimer: Ok, don't own it. Just gimmie a good ol' steak bone! ^^  
  
Bulma Greenleaf: Maybe, maybe not. It all depends... You can't make a good guess I wont do it to Legolas. I like him too much. Who knows about the others though...  
  
Lothliana: Is this fast enough? Calm down, this is a humor fic, no one is going to die or anything... Ummmmm... Forget I said that... K? ^_^;;  
  
Tourignyne: I thought about making at least one of them a mix... I sorta did to Legolas. He's part wolf! ^_^ Like me! By the way, Gandalf didn't mean to do this. He hates as much as they do.  
  
Sirithiliel: Yeah, those are good breeds. But I kind did it as an inside joke because I own a Chesapeake Bay Retriever and his name *is* Legolas! (Hehehehe... *I* named him of course... ^^) Anyway, you'd have to look them up. It's hard to explain. They're basically chocolate or yellow Labrador retrievers except curly and a serious attitude problem. They act more like wolves than any other dog I've ever seen. They're cool though. LOVE the water, also verrry protective of their family. I remember our last one nearly tore off a guys arm because he thought the guy was hurting my brother.  
  
Gilraen Ar-Feiniel1: Really? My mom used to be a vet's assistant. She was going to be a vet until she saw how many years of college that was. She said the saddest she ever had to do was help put this really nice and handsome German Shepard down. Some bastard neighbor threw poisoned meat over the fence to *purposely* kill it! ANYway, here ya go!  
  
THECheeseTurkey: Cheese points? Ummmmm... Okay... Thanks! Here's another chappie!  
  
Princessfirefly2: Can't wait? Then here ya go!!  
  
Lainfaer: O_o Sorry, at least I didn't wait a month this time right? And if you think that last one was a cliffie, you should read Cassia. Ok, you are Gilraen3... Must keep that in mind.  
  
Lobo Diablo: You know what the scary thing is? I know exactly what that meant without you telling me. Scary... I might do some of that, but we'll just have to see for now...  
  
Mascara Freak: Yay, good, I don't want to kill off such a great reviewer. I love all you guys! Don't worry, Legolas is defiantly keeping his, and his pain shall save the others as well.  
  
La la la la: Ok, here's a new chapter!  
  
Nirobie: Oh, pooh. Evil computer! *sigh* Ai' I know, poor Thranduil. He might be in Rivendell for awhile. I hope your comp is nice again soon!  
  
Chapter 5: Torture  
  
Aragorn whimpered under his bed. "I can't believe this. My own adoptive brothers and my adoptive father are going to have me fixed! And they can't fix being fixed... That made no sense whatsoever..." He became silent when he heard footsteps.  
  
"I can't believe that dog would go into Estel's room!" Elladan whispered.  
  
"I know, doesn't it stink?" Elrohir asked. Aragorn was about to growl when he sniffed around and discovered his room *did* smell bad.  
  
Aragorn watched horrified as two sets of feet entered his room and their owners began searching for him. Aragorn tried to calm himself down. "This is just like when we used to play hide and seek... Oh shoot, I ALWAYS LOST!!!" He then ran out from under his bed like a bat out of hell.  
  
Elladan saw Aragorn scramble out, "There he goes!" As he and his twin ran after Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn made another sharp turn on the newly waxed floor and skidded off course slightly before continuing his mad scramble away from his brothers. Elladan and Elrohir were having less success.  
  
Elrohir cried out as he slid into the wall again, "Dammit! How can that thing stay stable?"  
  
Elladan shrugged, "Maybe because he has more of a reason to stay on course than we do?"  
  
They continued this course until finally, Elrohir tackled Aragorn to the ground and tied him up.  
  
Elladan sighed as he finished tying up Aragorn. "Ok, now we just need to find your friend Elrohir."  
  
Elrohir growled quietly to himself. "You take this one to father. I have a score to settle with "Estel'..." Elrohir grumbled dangerously but Elladan did not notice it. Elladan nodded and dragged Aragorn off.  
  
Legolas whimpered as he tried again to somehow open the tap to get some wine. At last, he succeeded by using his mouth. He happily began lapping up the familiar fluid but was so preoccupied with his drink, that he did not notice the shadowy figure behind him...  
  
Elrohir followed the last dog's track to the cellar where all the spare food and drink was kept. He finally found the last dog lapping wine from an open tap. 'That's odd...' mused Elrohir, 'What kind of dog figures out how to work a tap and drinks wine? Ah well, it matters not... I have to sneak up on this one...' He readied his rope and began silently towards the unsuspecting dog.  
  
Legolas mentally smiled to himself at his own brilliance until he saw Elrohir's reflection in the spilt wine...  
  
Legolas yelped and dashed past the Noldor elf who gave chase. Legolas frantically began to think of an escape path, finally choosing to go outside.  
  
Elrohir cursed as he saw the blonde, curly haired dog disappeared into the woods. Now, most other elves would have given up and just captured the dog if or when it came back but as you can guess, Elrohir was not an ordinary elf.  
  
Elrohir silently stalked his prey in the forest. Unfortunately, he was attempting to stalk a former wood elf who was now stalking him.  
  
Legolas scoffed as Elrohir lost Legolas' trail. "Humph, stupid Noldor... Can't even follow a dog..." However, he spoke to soon when he accidentally stepped on a dry stick.  
  
Elrohir whirled around and dashed towards Legolas with a rope ready. Legolas yelped and ran the other way as fast as he could. The two ran further and further into the forest until Elrohir lost sight of Legolas.  
  
Elrohir panted as he watched the blonde dog run off into the bushes. "Crap... Ah, whatever... He'll come back..." Elrohir was just about to walk back to his father's house when he heard a loud cry of pain.  
  
One that came from a dog...  
  
Elrohir ran full speed towards the cry. 'Damn it! Arwen loves that dog! If anything happens to it, she'll start moping and Ada will kill me!!!' He came upon a clearing and saw what happened.  
  
A plump porcupine was waddling off into a thicket and a blonde dog was whimpering on the ground, sporting about a dozen needles on his face. Elrohir groaned. Not good...  
  
Elrond tapped his foot impatiently, "Where is Elrohir with that last one? I need all of them here before I begin..."  
  
Thranduil raised an eyebrow, "Elrond, I'm still against this completely by why are you waiting?"  
  
Elrond let out a cackle that was most unfitting for him, "Because I want them all to realize that they did something wrong and shall pay!" Thranduil backed away slowly.  
  
All of a sudden, Elrohir ran in carrying Legolas. "Ada! He was injured! Help him before Arwen finds out!!!"  
  
Elrond's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Elrohir! What did you do to that poor thing? I told you to catch it, not kill it!"  
  
"I didn't mean for this to happen, he just ran into a porcupine in the woods!" Elrohir protested as he lowered Legolas onto the table. "We have to get those needles out!"  
  
Elrond nodded, "We have to help this one, Arwen dotes on him... Get the others out. Forget fixing them right now..."  
  
Thranduil cocked his head, "Have you forgotten that the dogs' *real* owners might come back? They may not appreciate their dogs being fixed..."  
  
Elrond nodded and set to work on Legolas while his sons moved the others out. "Thranduil, could you help me and hold him down?"  
  
Meanwhile, the other members of the fellowship did not see Legolas come in or hear about the porcupine but knew Legolas was in there.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir brought them all outside, "Ok you guys. Stay out here. Ada doesn't in the you guys in the way while he fixes your friend..."  
  
They all blanched when they heard that. Aragorn tried to think quickly, "Wait, let's see what's going on in there... Sam, hold still!" After Aragorn jumped on Sam's back he said, "Ok, Gimli, you get on the top and see what's going on in there."  
  
Gimli obliged and managed to just get his eyes slightly above the bottom of the windowsill.  
  
Gandalf sat near the bottom, "Well, can you see anything Gimli?"  
  
Gimli nodded, "Yes but not much.. They're crowded around the lad, his father is holding him down and.. WHAT IN THE NAME OF AULE IS ELROND BRINGING DOWN TO HIS FACE?!?!"  
  
Legolas struggled as his father and the twins held him down. He began to struggle even more when Elrond began to bring down a sharp pair of tweezers to his face. The young prince couldn't see that Elrond was about to help him (between Elrond recently drugging him to try and calm him down and getting whacked with a porcupine's butt, Legolas couldn't see or comprehend very much).  
  
"Alright! I'll talk! I was the one who died your and Ada's hair purple that time 50 years ago, not the twins. And I hide the sleeping draughts under a floorboard near the main entrance to the Hall of Fire. And I slept with Arwen one time..."  
  
Elrond plucked out the first of the twelve needles.  
  
"ALRIGHT!!! ALRIGHT!!! FOUR TIMES!!! FOUR!!!" Legolas shouted in pain.  
  
Gimli shuddered, "My god... They're torturing the poor lad..." Pippin gulped and Aragorn shuddered.  
  
All the Fellowship members winced every time they heard another yelp from inside the room holding Legolas. Aragorn had enough after an eighth cry from hid best friend.  
  
"Alright, Legolas may not be the most trustworthy around women, but he's my best friend. We have to get him out of there!! Who's with me?" He barked. Gimli and Boromir raised their paws.  
  
The three slinked as quietly as they could through the halls until they got to the door Legolas was behind.  
  
"OH PLEASE ERU JUST LET ME DIE!!!" Legolas cried out.  
  
Thranduil restrained the dog harder, "Come on now, easy big fellow..." he hushed. "Elrond, maybe we should find something to reduce the pain..?"  
  
Elrond shook his head, "No, we only have one left. Hold him still..."  
  
All of a sudden, Aragorn and Gimli knocked down the door and Boromir ran towards the table and knocked over the table, just as Elrond pulled out the final needle.  
  
Legolas wasted no time running out of that room as fast as his legs would carry him with the others behind him.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
OK, sorry this wasn't as good as usual. Been *very* sick lately (in both meanings ^^;;). Every time I tried to finish this chapter, I had to run to the bathroom and... Erm... 'Expel the contents of my stomach' if you must know... So, take it easy on me, it's really hard to write with those kinda of interruptions. 


	6. Chapter 6: UhOh

Disclaimer: Nope, dun own it. sniffle I dun even own my pup pup anymore... TT He had to go up to the "Fire Hydrant in the Sky" cause he was sick (in the head). Wah-ness. I'd mope more but it happened months ago. That would be why I haven't worked on this in a bit. Because I based Legolas on my Legolas and we had to put him down so.. Yeah, kinda makes ya sad sniffle. ANYway, I don't own it. I tried to buy it but Tolkien hasn't returned any of my calls and I can't imagine why...  
  
NightbirdSongbird: Thanks, you won't believe it, I think I'm getting sick AGAIN!!! screams into pillow Grrrrrrrrrrr... I'm not even one of those kids who spends forever in the hospital. I don't get it, I never used to get sick all the time... Oh well, here's a new chapter in accordance with the prophecy!  
  
Sabrina: Oo Laughing your face of? Not good, I gotta get you face glue... Lol, here's another chappie!  
  
Lothliana: Thanks. I know this isn't soon but, hey better late than never right?  
  
Mistress of Balmoral: Lol, I wondered if anyone would catch that. A lot of people did. Don't worry, Legolas is all better now. Besides, I'm sure he'd rather get a minor face wound than a big wound down below.  
  
Lobo Diablo Lone Wolf: Thanks, sorry to have this short but I just realized how many reviews I got. Please review again!  
  
Star-Stallion: I'm glad you liked it. Make sure you update all of your fics really soon. I'm really into Hearts of Stone. And Narn I Hin, and Hunter in the Night... UPDATE ALL OF THEM!!!   
  
Lemabaspot: Thanks, here it is, although it certainly isn't soon...  
  
La la la la: CHAPTER! HERE! NOW!   
  
Bulma Greenleaf: Well, here ya go! Thanks for the review!   
  
Mascara freak: You know what? I think I'll have them do just that... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
Lainfaer: Nope, they ain't getting fixed. Thank god, I don't think they liked that idea very much...  
  
Dimgwrthien Silsulie: Thanks, here ya go! (By the way, where did you get that pen name?)  
  
Beloved Fool: You're the second one who liked that line. Here's another chapter!  
  
Gilraen Ar-Feiniel1: I know, German Shepards are cute. 00 A snake bit? Where do you live? The desert? By the way... What's the RSPCA? ;;  
  
Elvenbabe: I'm glad you like. Review again!  
  
Brunette At Door: Yeah, Legolas is a perv. But we all still love hi anyway, right? Review again!  
  
Nirobie: Thanks for the review. I will do that. Review again!  
  
Sirithiliel: That sounds like a really cool dog! Maybe you can try changing her name to Arwen? What? Arwen means "Lady" In elvish? So why not? ;; Review again!  
  
La la la la: ... Do I have two reviews from you? Oh well. I'm glad you like, review again!  
  
Chapter 6: Uh-oh  
  
The others stood over Legolas when they made it to the woods. Legolas was still in a stupor from being drugged and the events of the last chapter. Aragorn looked over his faced, "Good God, Legolas, what did they hit you with?"  
  
Legolas, who was acting as though drunk, replied, "That stupid porcupine hit me with his butt!"  
  
Aragorn could have fainted. "WHAT?!?!? YOU MEAN THEY WERE TRYING TO HELP YOU?!?!?!"  
  
Legolas failed to answer as he suddenly became preoccupied with a fish in a puddle and sang to himself as he tried to catch it.  
  
Gimli began growling, "THAT STUPID LITTLE- I'LL TEAR OUT HIS BLOODY THROAT!!!" he tried to jump at Legolas but Aragorn cuffed him in the head.  
  
Aragorn then walked over to Legolas and dunked the blonde dog's head in the deep puddle a few times until Legolas jumped away from him. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!? AND WHY DOES MY FACE FEEL LIKE SOMEONE USED IT FOR A VALAR BLOODY DAMN PINCUSHION??!?"  
  
"Because someone did..." Aragorn replied flatly.  
  
Legolas stopped ranting, "...oh..."  
  
Aragorn walked over to his friend, "So, now that I know you're alright, what was that about sleeping with Arwen four times?"  
  
Legolas instantly became nervous, "Oh, did I say that out-loud? I mean, at all?"  
  
Aragorn nodded with a dangerous grin on his face.  
  
Legolas saw that and began to run for his life with Aragorn in hot pursuit.  
  
Sam shook his head, "Don't tell me Mr. Strider has us save Legolas just so he could kill him?"  
  
"I'm thinking... Yes..." Pippin replied.  
  
They all heard a pair of yelps and then Aragorn and Legolas came running back, possibly faster than when they ran off. Right behind them was a very pissed off Elrond. The rest of the Fellowship had a feeling that they should be afraid too. Especially when Elrond had that knife with him.  
  
Whatever was going to happen did not because (by luck) Thranduil was heard from a nearby clearing. "Elrond, is this not Gandalf's staff? ...And... clothes...? ...And... Aragorn's clothes and weapons... and my son's clothes... WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!"  
  
Elrond rushed to eth distressed elf lord's side and examined the scene, sure enough, there were the clothes and belongings of each of eth fellowship, save the Ring. Elrond looked over the scene. "There are many... dog... tracks... here..." He picked up the staff and saw it had been tampered with, and he recognized the handiwork. "ELLADAN!!! ELROHIR!!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!"  
  
The two elves ran into the clearing but stopped dead (and their faces paled until they resembled one dead) when they saw their father holding the staff and standing amongst the Fellowships' clothes and 9 dogs staring at them (each standing next to is respective set of clothes). The twins put two and two together. "Hey, Elladan, I think we turned them into dogs!" Elrohir chirped. Elladan could have smacked his younger brother. .  
  
"So, you two did do this..." Elrond said, clearly livid.  
  
Now, our dear Elladan was a prankster and brother with many years experience, and as all good siblings know, when the fury of you parent is about to come down on you like fire and brimstone, blame someone else.  
  
"Wait a second... Legolas... You saw Arwen in her bedroom... Alone!" Elladan said (very glad he came up with something that good on such short notice).  
  
Elrond caught that and moved his wrath over to a now terrified Prince of Mirkwood who was now making a hasty retreat into the woods.

TBC

Ack-ness, yes I know it's short I'M SORRY!!! But me brain is FRIED. Gimme a bit and I'll try to do better. And I'm pretty sure I got all of my reviewers but if I missed I'm sorry, I'll try to make it up to you somehow. Either way, sorry for short-ness and crappy-ness. ...-ness. ;; Oh yes, I was too lazy to read through this too so if you see a mistake please tell me and I'll fix it.


	7. Chapter 7: Oops

Disclaimer: I own nada! Got that? Except for maybe my pretty new watch! (grins while hugging it) IT BLINKS!!! ... _ahem,_ Sorry. And sorry this took FORVER!!! I've been busy while being bored; 'tis difficult but somehow I manage it.

Mascara freak: I'm glad you still liked that chapter even though it was short, I hit a mental roadblock. (hands her a cookie) Review again!

NightbirdSongbird: (still blinking in confusion at the review she just got from them for Strange Visitings) Okay... w/e and by the by, I don't really mind cursing, just avoid the f-bomb and I wont really care. So, what _does_ Betty like to eat? CLAMP? I know them; they have the Magic Knight Rayearth manga. SQUEE, I _LOVE_ INOUVA!!! Shirahime Syo, (nod) I must remember to check that out. May I suggest something? It seems to me, that you guys would enjoy Gravitation. (nod) Oh yes, the yaoi goodness. XD (hands them a half full box of cookies and Betty some of her specialty) (nod) Italian style chicken fried chicken! Without using really fatty oil. Lots of garlic too. It's good, or if you're a vegetarian, my other specialty, PANCAKES!!! XD ... maybe I should go now before I scare someone. (I'm guessing I won't scare you but I don't know if someone else is reading this)

Lady Alionae: I'm glad you like the story. We'll, here's what happens next. I don't think this is fast but here it is! (gives her a cookie) Enjoy!

Lothliana: I'd love to update more often but for two things, 1) I have ADHD so it is hard for me to sit down for very long without taking my medication which I hate to do during the summer. 2) I frequently either have no ideas or too many and I have to sort through them to see which way I want the story to go. But I do try, honest. Glad you liked the chapter here's a cookie! (smile)

Silent-Eyes-of-the-Night: lol, my brother _knows_ I'm insane. Lol, I did base some stuff on Homeward Bound, I'm glad you like it that much. (gives reviewer a cookie) Please do review again.

Alionae: (shifty eyes) What about the stick going off? (nervous laugh) Hahahahaha, the thought _never_ crossed my mind. _Really_...? Ummmmm, are those ninjas trying to break into my room? Gotta dash! (throws her a cookie while running from the ninjas)

Lainfaer: Lol, nope, not fun at all. S'ok, I had a feeling he wouldn't be around this time 5 years. It just kinda sucked for it to happen the way it did. (sigh) (smile) Oh well, life goes on. Here's a cookie, please review!

Gilraen Ar-Feiniel1: RSPCA sounds more like the SPCA to me. Yes, the poor love is a little slow isn't he? Oh well. Here's a cookie to eat while reading!

Crazy-haldir-fancier: I'm happy you like this and here that chapter _and_ a cookie!

Chapter 8: Oops...

Legolas finally stopped running after he covered about 5 miles and curled into a cave. "Damn Elladan, I am going to get him for this..." While grumbling to himself, all the fellowship save Gandalf and Boromir had caught up. Those were behind as Gandalf was a bit too old to run like that and Boromir was too small.

Aragorn knocked Legolas over and pinned him to the ground, "Legolas, this is your last warning, do _anything_ with Arwen again, and I shall see to it that you are unable to sire children."

Legolas sighed, "Alright mellon-nin, I'll be a good boy, now can you get off my windpipe? I'm rather fond of breathing!"

"Oh, sorry..." Aragorn said as he got up. "So, how are we going to prevent Elrond from killing Legolas?"

As if to give his question reason, they saw Elrond run into the clearing, still wielding that knife and Gandalf's staff. He saw Legolas and made to run after him when Thranduil, Boromir, Gandalf, and the twins caught up to him. Thranduil (being worried for the well being of his son for obvious reasons) stole Gandalf's staff and whacked Elrond over the head with it.

Now, had Thranduil been given time to contemplate the consequences that could occur after hitting an elf lord over the head with a magical device, he probably would have used a rock instead. However, given no time to think just how to protect his son _and_ the future of Mirkwood as sooner or later, Legolas would need an heir; Thranduil would be forced to learn why one should never use a tampered magic staff as a common clubbing device, the hard way.

There was a flash of light (which the fellowship tactfully avoided within the cave) and when the fellowship peered out of the cavern they saw four conscious dogs.

"Oh great, now _they're_ dogs too! _Now_ how do we get out of this?" Gimli moaned as he walked over and lightly kicked one of them in the head causing said dog to stir.

"Ohhhhhh," he moaned, "I am _never_ going to do _that_ again..." said the blonde dog.

Legolas knew that voice, "Father?"

Thranduil (now a dog that looks like a dingo) looked up, "...Legolas...? What the hell...? You're a dog and I understand you-" He broke off. "Oh no..." The elven king looked over himself and his fears were confirmed. He glared at one of the other dogs (Elrond was easy to pick out as the twins were still twins, only now cocker spaniels) and kicked him in the head although a lot harder than Gimli did to him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU PSYCHOPATH!!!"

Elrond the Springer Spaniel moaned, "But I don't want to get up yet mum..."

Thranduil growled at him but at a loss of what to do. Being without pose able thumbs, he couldn't pick up anything to whack him with not to mention he did not plan on hitting anyone with anything for awhile. He noticed a branch dangling conveniently above Elrond's body. He slammed into the think tree as hard as he could, causing the branch to fall on Elrond's head. Needless to say, the got Elrond's attention.

"What the hell?" Elrond gasped.

"Now what do we do, oh fearless leader?" Thranduil snapped.

"Is this about the Last Alliance? Listen, it's your father's own damn fault he didn't listen to us!"

"Why should we have to listen to you? You Noldor don't know a damned thing! Who died and made you guys the lords over everyone else?"

"**_ENOUGH!!!_**" thundered Gandalf. Thranduil and Elrond stopped bickering immediately which had Gandalf calm down. "That was 3,000 years ago; I think it's high time you both _dropped it_." Thranduil growled quietly and Elrond put his back to the blonde dog. Gandalf glared at the two and continued, "We have to find a way to fix this problem otherwise, the Fellowship will fail before it even begins. Time is of the essence." He turned to Elladan and Elrohir, "How do you fix this?"

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other nervously and back to Gandalf, "We don't know..."

Boromir groaned, "Perfect, _just **perfect**_."

Gandalf silence Boromir with a glare and looked back at the twins, "Do you think you could try to fix my staff if you could get you 'tools' from your room?"

"Maybe, but we'd have to sneak past everyone first."

Aragorn and Legolas came forward. "Breaking and entering is what we do best." Aragorn grinned.

"Aside from slaying yrch and stealing certain items from certain brothers' rooms..." Legolas said proudly.

Thranduil sighed, "_This_ coming from the future heirs to the thrones of Gondor and Mirkwood..."

Gandalf frowned, "However, at this moment, we can use those... _talents_. Alright, you two get the items Elladan and Elrohir may need, and Elladan and Elrohir will work on fixing my staff. The rest of you..." he began, turning to the rest of the 'dogs', "Let all hell break loose so that Legolas and Aragorn will have minimum security to worry about."

Thranduil smiled, "I haven't had this much fun in 4,000 years."

Elrond whispered something to Thranduil which made him hit Elrond. "What I did with my wife the night Legolas was conceived is my own damned business!"

Everyone tried to ignore those two and went off to give Rivendell a surprise it wouldn't soon forget.

TBC

BUMP BUMP BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. What happens now? Can Elrohir and Elladan fix the staff? Can Aragorn and Legolas work together to get those tools? Will Elrond and Thranduil ever stop fighting? Will I ever stop asking such annoying questions? Why are you still reading said annoying questions? Find out on the next, action spiffed and sugar coated episode of THE FELLOWSHIP OF FLEAS!!!!!!!


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